Dudleytown Brewery Burger – Scary Disappointment
A picky eater with lots of allergies reviews a plain burger at Dudleytown Brewery.
Classic Burger
Smashed Again
While Dan enjoyed his slices, I waited for my smashburger. Another smashburger. Ugh! Four slices in and my burger finally arrived. With cheese. So back to the kitchen it went and I continued to wait. And wait. And wait some more. With one slice left, my smashburger, free of all possible toppings, arrived. The bun is always my favorite part, but this bun had so many sesame seeds it was hard to tell what kind of bun it was. If only I liked sesame seeds, I might not have cared. Oh, well. I grabbed a french fry instead. The first nibble was quite good. Hot and crispy. Then came the salt attack. My lips, teeth, tongue, and gums were on fire. Hydration was leaving my body. Done with the fries, I eyed the burger next. Two of the flattest patties I’d ever seen oozing out from between the top and bottom bun. Dan suggested I try eating the burger upside down since the top bun could better support the patties. I struggled to find the bottom bun without getting my fingers wet from the ground beef grease. When I had a firm grip on my lunch, Dan exclaimed that I did indeed have a smashburger. He was thrilled! Apparently, my previous smashburger experience was not up to par. But this one passed the test. The appearance test anyway. The taste test was just as bad as all the rest. It had a weird flavor. Maybe like dog food. Maybe, if I were a dog, I would have enjoyed it, but I’m not, and I didn’t. Very greasy, somehow very dry, very seasoned with an unknown substance, and way too salty. I pushed the plate toward Dan hoping he’d try it and agree with me. He did try it, but agree with me he did not. According to Dan, the smashburger was very good and was only dry because there was nothing on it. Apparently, it was too salty because there were only two naked burger patties. I frowned and nibbled another fry while Dan paid the bill.
Dan’s Commentary
The lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, and cheese it was supposed to come with would have balanced the patties perfectly. While Dan was musing over what could have been the best burger ever, I commented that it still would have had a weird taste. Dan’s response: That’s called flavor. And that’s why I ordered us the pretzel because I knew you’d hate it.
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