Hotfire Bar and Grill Burger – The State of Burger
A picky eater with lots of allergies reviews a plain burger at Boomerangs Roadhouse.
Commander Smash
Unwrapped
It is well known that I don’t like burgers, but I like smash burgers even less. They’re just too thin, and while I’m all about the bun, I would like a little protein to help get me through the rest of the day. With my only burger option the Commander Smash, I was already in a mood. Just like Dan’s dinner, my burger came wrapped and ready to go. Go where, I don’t know because I was staying. So I unwrapped it and scowled at the thin burger and oversized bun. I didn’t even get a side of fries. Maybe that was an add-on that I didn’t notice on the menu, but in all my years of complaining about burgers, I’ve always gotten fries. There was also no ketchup on the table. It was behind the counter along with the salt and pepper. I shuffled over to the bar and waited and waited some more, and finally hollered into the kitchen area asking for ketchup. The bartender rushed out and handed me five ketchup packets. I handed her four back. I returned to the table and scowled again. These ketchup packets were the new “devil packets”. You know…the ones that you can dip or squeeze and whichever side you choose you’re going to end up with ketchup all over you. I handed the packet to Dan because he is much more patient than I am and he managed to open the “squeeze” side with nary a drop upon him. I doused my very thin, very charred, and very done burger with a large dollop of ketchup. And then I tentatively took a bite and decided that this burger was very bad. At least the bun was good!
It’s a Wrap
Unable to stomach my burger, I enjoyed watching Dan struggle to eat his French dip without making a mess. When we were done, we tossed our leftovers and wrappers in the trash and headed to the market down the street. Our first thought was maybe they would have fresh made turkey sandwiches that I could try. They didn’t. Our second thought was maybe they would have some local fudge from the fudge shop that had closed while we were figuring out how to eat our dinner. They didn’t. So we left empty-handed, strolled down a hidden path to view the glacial potholes, then made our way home where we stopped at the grocery store to buy me a Digiorno pizza. While at the store, Dan noted that my burger wasn’t really a smash burger. It wasn’t thin enough. And it probably wasn’t the char that made it taste bad. It had probably been frozen. He would know. He had taken a bite and is a much better critic about burgers than I ever will be.
Click to read more about
Hotfire Bar and Grill
and
Dan’s Review
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